Further Evidence That College Brochures Are Full of Shit
We've already listed 3 things you'll see in most college brochures but never actually do in college, but today The New York Times has given us further proof that college admissions departments might just be full of shit. Yes, it appears Union College doesn't even know where it is. They admit to giving out purposefully convoluted directions to prospective students to detour them on a scenic drive around a lake rather then giving them the direct route through the gritty urban decay of downtown Schenectady.
And, listen, it's hard to blame them. As one former Union student wrote, Schenectady is a city fit for only "hogs and Dutchmen." (Okay, so the former student wrote that in 1832, but I think Dutch-bashing is a trend that should come back in America...or maybe I've just been watching too much speed skating).
Still, the school says it's changing its ways and trying to strike up a new relationship with the Schenectady community. Some recent graduates are even returning to help in the area's revitalization by opening thriving burrito establishments.
Union, however, is missing perhaps Schenectady's main selling point: it's zip code is 12345. That qualifies it for coolest zip code in the entire country (I checked and its main challenger 80085--you know, cause it's spells "boobs"--is not an applicable zip code...yet.) Chances are that over two-thirds of Unions applicants have already fraudulently, filled out at least one online form saying that they're from the area. This is born out of the unique blend of sheer laziness, lack of creativity, and unyielding desire for anonymity that comes with signing up for online pornography. Why not slap that on a few bumper stickers and view book covers and bring a little honesty back to the college admissions process. "Union College: Because the Bang Bros Already Think You Live Here!"
And, listen, it's hard to blame them. As one former Union student wrote, Schenectady is a city fit for only "hogs and Dutchmen." (Okay, so the former student wrote that in 1832, but I think Dutch-bashing is a trend that should come back in America...or maybe I've just been watching too much speed skating).
Still, the school says it's changing its ways and trying to strike up a new relationship with the Schenectady community. Some recent graduates are even returning to help in the area's revitalization by opening thriving burrito establishments.
Union, however, is missing perhaps Schenectady's main selling point: it's zip code is 12345. That qualifies it for coolest zip code in the entire country (I checked and its main challenger 80085--you know, cause it's spells "boobs"--is not an applicable zip code...yet.) Chances are that over two-thirds of Unions applicants have already fraudulently, filled out at least one online form saying that they're from the area. This is born out of the unique blend of sheer laziness, lack of creativity, and unyielding desire for anonymity that comes with signing up for online pornography. Why not slap that on a few bumper stickers and view book covers and bring a little honesty back to the college admissions process. "Union College: Because the Bang Bros Already Think You Live Here!"
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