bsat blog

If you’re like most high school hipsters, you’ve probably spent most of your high school career fine tuning your musical interests to fit you tighter than your sister’s jeans—and scarf. You’ve made sure to delve deeply into the collections of off-beat, little-known acts whose music is much realer than that crappy, over-produced, corporate sellout schlock everyone else listens to. Well here’s the deal. These days, averting the mainstream is the mainstream. Even the teeniest of teenyboppers pledges to set themselves apart from the “manufactured pop” that’s on the radio these days.

And while I’m sure your ipod is chock full of acts so underground that even you aren’t sure you’ve really heard of them, sometimes the kind of widely-attended, social gatherings (frat parties) you’ll attend (with an air of contempt) in college will be forced to play music that a few people in the crowd heard of. It’s okay. Rocking out to a song in a college basement doesn’t mean whoring your soul to the corporate overlords. It also doesn’t mean it’s a good song. It just means you’re rocking out to it in a sketchy basement and you probably don’t know whose hand is on your ass. So, as a quick primer, here are five crappy songs you will rock out to in a college basement.

Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar on Me – Some have theorized that the “sugar” Def Leppard I referring to is actually sex. It’s never been proven though.

Boston – More than a Feeling – Also a part of my favorite drinking game called Yes Kansas Boston! Put on your favorite classic rock station (preferably one that plays a maximum of 35 songs), when a bloated, guitar-rocker comes on guess if it’s by Yes!, Kansas, or Boston. If you’re wrong take a shot. If you’re right, take two.

Usher feat. Ludacris and Lil John – Yeah – Little John’s got the beat to make the booty go smack. But the booty doesn’t really go smack without someone else’s hand. That’s fuckin' teamwork right there.

Bon Jovi – Living on a Prayer – You know you love screaming the chorus.

Journey – Don’t Stop Believing – What do you think it’s like to be Journey? One minute you’re sitting at home looking back on the rock career you once had, coaching your kids soccer team, going to rehab—then all of a sudden you’ve got one of the most popular songs in America again. Only it’s not clear if everyone actually likes your song, or just kind of listens to it in an ironic so-bad-its-good kind of way. Does this gnaw at your integrity as an artist? Or do you just say fuck it, sit back and cash checks. Yeah, that’s what I thought.