college app essays
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Are you dying to submit a Common App essay that tells thirteen colleges to go fuck themselves? What about admit stories? If you visited Tulane and your interviewer was 9 months pregnant and her water broke during the interview, we'd like to know about it. Details, please. Send in your dispatches from College Admissions Hell.
BONUS BSAT Material -- do you like coffee? Read this OUT-TAKE Reading Passage from The BSAT Official Study Guide!...
If you like coffee (and maybe especially if you don't!) here's some stuff that didn't make it into the book. Some people thought it tasteless, I...
The truth about me
My friends dared me to write my essay on this subject so I'm doing it. Well, my friend (singular) anyway. There's just that one, Marie. She's...
Bella Swan's Common App Essay
I'd bet most girls applying to college have never given much thought to how they would die. But I have, for many reasons. First, I'm so clumsy that I...
My Unconventional Family
I was raised in an unconventional family, kind of a single-parent family. But before you start feeling sorry for me, let me tell you -- it wasn't like that. ...
Lunch with My Hero
Having lunch with a person is not the right way to go about asking them prying questions about their personal/fictional life, dinner would serve better since it would...
"I did very well. Best interview I've ever had."
One of the most brilliant and ambitious people I know -- I'm talking, he's planned every ambitious minute of his life and has never made a wrong turn, has...
Dartmouth Interview Prank
I'm a very creative, assertive and confident kind of person. So for my interview at Dartmouth I did some brainstorming. Well, I came up with the perfect idea...
Hamilton Punked!
So what i did was to actually print up this official looking "BSAT Scores Reporting Form," which I filled out to show off my masterly 2340 composite and sent off to 2...
Potato Hiccups
The first time I took the SAT, my mom fed me a hearty breakfast. She called it brain food. But the hash browns gave me really bad potato hiccups. Some hiccups are...
50% Hotter Than Frances
The day before my big interview at **** University was not a good one. Even though I'm the four-year varsity football starting quarterback at my west Texas High...
My Diversity
I have a lazy eye. If you don't think that's a real problem for a girl, think again. Sometimes, when I'm tired, it seems like I'm looking in two...
Why I Own A Pitbull
I own a pit bull because I’m a very alpha-type guy who doesn’t take shit from anyone. And my pit bull Jaws helps me get the message out. Of course I keep...
Return on Investment
By the time I'm 24 I will be worth billions. It's not a matter of if or when, either. It just is. And the internet business that I will have started from...
The challenges of CEFS
Two weeks before my ninth birthday I was diagnosed with Chronic Explosive Flatulence Syndrome. Frankly, the diagnosis was a relief. I’d always known there was...
Uncle Carlo
I am a member of a minority that suffers a lot of bigotry and persecution. Specifically, my uncle is the head of the largest crime family in upstate New York. ...
My awkward ethical dilemma
The headmaster of my school is a real jerk. Writing these words is certainly awkward, but if I don't, I don't know how I can get into any college, yours...
What's So Great About Clones
I would like to have a clone. I would like to have a clone for many reasons in fact. A clone is so exactly like me that you could hardly believe it. You...