more bsat questions

barfing : calling Ralph on the big white phone :: jerking off : ______

Because the sex act of the stick insect takes six weeks, there's no such thing as a quickie.

Suzy has an STD.  There is a one-third chance of her spreading it to any particular partner and another one-third chance of that partner passing it further.  Suzy sleeps with Tom and Umberto (both previously clear), but one of them definitely doesn't catch the bug.  Later, both of them sleep with Valerie (also clear).  What are Valerie's chances of picking up "a dose"?

"As I was saying...oh, Oh, OH!" Disorder is the name of an actual condition in which a woman experiences unwanted spontaneous sexual arousal in the middle of everyday activities.

Here we go again. In their lame Question of the Day on April 9, the idiots at the College Board give us a sitting duck:

Each of 5 men played a game of chess with each of 5 women, and then each woman played a game of chess with each of the other women. How many games of chess were played?

We can put that to better use, can't we? Of course we can! Today's BSAT Math Question of the Day...

Each of 5 men played Naked Twister with with each of 5 women and then each woman played Naked Twister with each of the other women. How many games of Strip Poker were played? 

Everyone knows that automobiles are dangerous. Just driving to the grocery store you have a 2 in 1000 chance of getting into an accident. Talking on a cell phone as you drive increases those odds by a factor of 15, while getting a blowjob behind the wheel bumps them up by a factor of 33. What are your chances of crashing if you drive, talk, and get blown all at once?

 

On March 16, the College Board's online question of the day read as follows:  "In a class of 80 seniors, there are 3 boys for every 5 girls. In the junior class, there are..." blah, blah, blah...BORING. Today, the BSAT "re-purposes" this promising setup...

In a class of 80 seniors, there are 3 boys for every 5 girls. What is the greatest number of 3-ways involving at least 1 member of each sex that can be assembled from this class?

The BSAT goes back to the well. It's just too good to resist. Today's Sentence Completion Question of the Day...

Sex addiction is a horrible condition that it has quite nearly derailed the career of a great athlete and betrayed fans everywhere.

Let the equation f(T) = s⁴ - s_i^1/2 + h⁶ represent Tiger Woods' internal state at the time of his recent public apology, where: s = sorry, s_i = sincere and h = horny 

Based on the above, which of the following best describes Tiger's condition:

The wimpy Official College Board Question of the Day for Saturday, January 9 was this:

"Cathy likes to wear 2 ribbons, each a different color. If she has 6 ribbons each of a different color, how many combinations of 2 different-colored ribbons can she select to wear?"

We say SCREW Cathy's ribbons! Today's math BSAT Question of the Day...

Carl likes to wear 2 condoms, each a different color. If he has 6 condoms each of a different color, how many combinations of 2 different-colored condoms can he select to wear?

The following appeared on February 3 as the official College Board Question of the Day. Today we present alternative answers -- the ones those dopes wish they had offered.

 

The archaeologist enjoyed the ------- life she led while gathering artifacts; she never stayed at any one site long enough to get bored.

Philip writes the titles porno movies. After the success of his first two names, "The Legend in Bagger's Pants" and "Glad-He-Ate-Her", Philip became disillusioned and lost the passion for his work. After that merely built up a stockpile of potential titles of which only 1/2 of contained a pun of a real movie or television show title, and 2/3rds of his titles, pun or otherwise, contained the word "ass" or some derivative. Assuming Philip's patented porno production process starts by picking a title at random from his title box (then minor elements like casting and plot are fleshed out later), how much greater are the chances that his next film is a sci-fi spoof entitled "Assatar" than they are for a quirky medical comedy (and Neil Patrick Harris vehicle) entitled "Doogie Plows Her."

THIS WEEKEND'S BSAT HALL OF FAME QUESTION: Idiots that they are, the College Board cut Analogies out of the SAT in 2005. But Analogies are the most fun you can have with a #2 pencil! Lots more available in The BSAT Official Study Guide.

Below you are given a pair of words or phrases that are somehow related. Select the choice that makes the second pair related in the same way as the first.

can of Reddi-wip : fire extinguisher :: _____ : condom

 

THIS WEEKEND'S BSAT HALL OF FAME QUESTION:  Idiots that they are, the College Board cut Analogies out of the SAT in 2005. But Analogies are the most fun you can have with a #2 pencil! Lots more available in The BSAT Official Study Guide.

 

Below you are given a pair of words or phrases that are somehow related. Select the choice that makes the second pair related in the same way as the first.

 

a can of Reddi-wip : fire extinguisher :: _____ : condom

 

His awakening urges made Bob, a _______ boy, willing to do anything to find a _______ girl.

As the mathematical series known as Tiger's Mistresses approaches infinity, we see an opportunity to explore a new branch of BSAT math.

Tiger Woods has Mistresses m₁, m₂, m₃...m_x. If every 5th mistress is not a bimbo and m₂ is not a bimbo, determine if m₂₉ is a bimbo or not.

Someone clever told us that BSATWorld could score tons more hits if we featured problems including terms that people Google a lot. Just for laughs, see if you can figure out which words those are in today's Math QoD.

Stanley buys only Blu-Ray Porn.  For Christmas, for his closest friends, he bought either "Danielle Does Denver: Remastered and Rehung" for $29.99 each, or "The Bad News Bears Come from Behind" for $34.99 each.  If he spent a total of $530.79 including $5.95 for shipping for 16 Blu-Ray Porn flicks, how many of "Danielle Does Denver" did Stanley buy?

At the BSAT we want to get you ready for college life. The recent Tufts University dorm sex policy controversy offers a teachable moment and a jolly good Sentence Completion.

The Tufts Daily, September 26, 2010 -- ResLife has capitulated and reversed its controversial 2009 policy so that sex is now permissible in dorm rooms when roommates are present provided that ______.

At the BSAT we have a soft spot for Analogies. Especially when they have "sex" written all over them. Today's Question of the Day:

Letterman : "sextortion" :: Polanski : "_______"

Is it your dream to be a writer? You can succeed--if you aim low enough. Today's BSAT lit-themed math opus:

Bonnie writes pornography for sucknblow.com and gets paid by the word. To inspire the proper tone, sucknblow.com pays 10 cents for 4-letter words and 3 cents for all other words. For a particularly juicy 17-word sentence, Bonnie earned $1.07. How many 4-letter words did she manage to cram in?