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John, Mary and Celeste are college freshmen playing a drinking game. After two hours, what fantasy is John most likely to have that will never come true?
Little Falcon Heene is sent off in his space ship balloon with his sights set on reality TV producer Mark Burnett’s house 1077 miles away in Los Angeles. If he is traveling at 20 miles per hour, how fast will John and Kate Plus Eight have to propel one of their children to travel the 2677 miles from their home in Reading, PA in order to beat Falcon to the cash?

Celebs are all over reality tv these days. While most appearances make little to no sense, others do. This week, Natalie Portman showcased her love of cooking (and hatred of meat) on Top Chef Las Vegas.
Natalie Portman : Top Chef :: Carrie Fisher : _______
Natalie Portman : Top Chef :: Carrie Fisher : _______

A hardworking executive gets a 1.6 gazillion dollar bonus from Predatory Savings & Loan. But then the Obama administration cuts it to just 400 kajillion dollars. If 1 gazillion = 1,000 kajillion, by what percentage did his bonus get cut?

The Project Runway Design Challenge, which was to create a Grammys outfit for Lady GaGa using only items from the recycling station and traditional hotdog condiments, was sort of a desperate reach but _______.

Below is Kanye West’s public apology for his stage-crashing antics at this year’s VMAs. Choose the sentence that would best replace this one.
I'M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM.

Bob takes pills for his erectile dysfunction. Each pill Bob consumes gives him a 45 minute erection. If Bob wants to get it on at the Pleasure Dome from 7pm-10pm tonight and for 139 minutes the following afternoon, at least how many pills must Bob consume to make sure Madam Suzette and her girls can do their job?

Bob has become aroused. Unlike most, his penis is shaped like a perfect cylinder. The head of his dick contains a fixed amount of blood regardless of his flaccidity. His shaft starts with a length of 3 inches and a radius of 1 inch. His penis grows at 0.25 inches per second in length, and 0.0625 inches per second in radius. At the exact instant his shaft is 5 inches in length, find the rate at which the volume of blood in his dick is increasing.

On the dating website eHarmony.com a potential user has a 1 in 8 chance of having their online profile successfully matched with that of a potential date. According to the Centers for Disease Control nearly 1 in 5 people in the general U.S. population have some form of STD. Assuming eHarmony draws from the general U.S. population, and the date goes well, what are the odds of acquiring an STD through an eHarmony profile.
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