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Bobo dares Decker to chug all the pig sludge in the cylindrical bucket shown. Decker is allowed 10% total spillage and a single 1 quart barf.

If 1 gallon equals 231 cubic inches, how many quarts does Decker have to keep down to win the dare?

e) That's ridiculous -- no one can drink that much pig sludge.

NAUSEA

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Heather Bird

Paper Cut

A paper cut is God's way of telling us ________.

a) to use red paper

b) to go all digital

c) that origami is evil

d) that He has just given us a paper cut

e) any of the above

RELIGION

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MM Kool K

W00t! W00t!

Joey goes to woot.com and buys a "Bag of Random Crap" for $3.00 that contains a swimmer's noseplug, a graphic novel, a tomagachi and a subwoofer. If the average cost per item to woot is .08 what is their profit margin on Joey's crap?

e) They're losing money.

RANDOM

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Anthony "Buck" Sanderson

Louie's Itch

That chronic itch was getting to be a real problem because Louie’s hand was always down his pants.

a) [excellent as is!]

b) Louise’s hand was always down his pants

c) no one believed that stuff dripping from his pants was cortisone cream

d) chronic itches can be a real problem

e) patches of bare skull bone were beginning to show

BODILY FUNCTIONS, LOVE AND SEX

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Reginald Quilch

Hellen Keller Stand-up

During her brief career in stand-up, Helen Keller was able to ignore the hecklers, but _______.

a) not the rotten tomatoes or the hook

b) in her heart she knew she was stinking up the joint

c) bumping into the furniture is only funny for about five minutes

d) only because she was never a good listener

e) any of the above

FAMOUS PEOPLE

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